All is takes is one minute.
One minute between the ecstatic rush of getting an awesome opportunity at work — to the devastating collapse of remembering your chronic pain, and realizing you likely won’t be able to make the most of it.
Today folks, I need to vent.
As many of you know, I started my freelance writing business, Kelsey Roseth Communications, as a way to have more control over my life.
I’ve had chronic pain for nearly a decade, and early on, I pushed as hard as I could to keep things in my life normal: my hobbies, work and social activities. Over time, and through lots of emotional moments, I came to the realization that pain had to play the leading, or at least a leading, role in my life. I needed to take more cues from my body, appreciate its limits and start making serious adjustments in the way I was managing my pain.
As my pain became chronic, the pain management medications and techniques shared by the doctors weren’t enough. I still hurt. And I needed to do more.
I began stretching on a consistent basis to loosen up my low back, and learned how to use a Theracane, or tennis ball, to self-massage my muscles. I started meditating, learned about breath control, took time for crosswords and dedicated more time to journaling. I cut back on work hours, and once I realized how unsustainable it was for me to succeed in my career field while working a standard 8-5 job, I started my own business.
It’s been so extremely challenging, learning about running a business, making mistakes and growing my client base — but it’s worth it every day that I get to sink into my extra-large heating pad (set to high) and take a slow, rejuvenating walk with my dog mid-morning. I started on this path and haven’t looked back since.
That being said, I was recently offered an amazing opportunity. It consisted of freelancing for a national client on an assignment that, with it as part of my portfolio, has the potential to significantly grow my client base. The problem is that it required me working longer hours than I have been lately (which I try to cap off at about 30 hours per week), and managing the stress. In the end, I took the gig. Flash-forward one month and I’m recovered from the stress and physical strain of taking on extra work.
What’s frustrating is how chronic pain impacts the decision-making process. When you have a decision to make, your initial thoughts may go to your ideal outcome for the decision. That’s how it happens for me, yet it’s swiftly followed up with the questions: “How does this affect my pain”.
I try to be as positive as I can in an effort to manage my pain, but it’s damn upsetting knowing chronic pain’s shadow casts darkness on even the brightest of situations.
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